Existential blueberry pie

The observant reader, or the trained eye, will have noticed that the tittle of this blog has changed. Having finished my masters in International Relations, I really had no choice but to up and leave my bubble, it was either that or get permanently caught in the throngs of student life. Thrown back into the real world of city life, city prices and worst of all city spacial distribution of my friends, fun no longer seemed a stone throwing distance away. I can no longer walk five minutes and find everyone I would ever need. No, I must sit of the F train for a minimum of three Matt and Kim songs, or a chapter in my book, to even get started on where I want to go.

Through all of this emotional, physical and psychological turmoil I’ve been reading Jean-Paul Satre- and let me emphasizes this, never read Satre when you, yourself, are in limbo.

“I for my part have had some real adventures. I can’t remember a single detail, but I can see the rigerous succession of circumstances. I have crossed the seas, I have left cities behind me, and I have followed the course of rivers towards their source or else plunged ito forests, always making for other cities. I have had women, I have fought with men; and I could never turn back, any more than a record can spin in reverse. And all that was leading me where? To this very moment, to this bench, in this bubble of light humming with music.”

As I question the meaning of life, as a free agent caught in a world that, at the moment, feels devoid of meaning, a world where I must find my own purspose and hold whole responsibility for my choices, I realize that where all of this has lead me to is blueberry pie. For when you feel lost, tell me one way pie can’t sooth your worried mind.

Blueberry Pie, adapted from Cooks Illustrated.

• 2-2.5 packages/pints of fresh blueberries
• 1 large Granny Smith apple, peeled and grated on large holes of a cheese grater
• Grated lemon zest of 1 lemon
• Fresh lemon juice of 1/2 a lemon
• ¾ c sugar (or to taste)
• 2 Tbs quick-cook (minute) tapioca, ground
• Pinch table salt
• Pie Dough for a double crust pie.

1. Roll half the pie dough into a large round disk and place carefully in a deep dish pie plate. Let the extra hang over the edge.
2. Place half of the blue berries in a medium saucepan and set over medium heat. Using potato masher, mash berries several times to release juices. Cook until most of berries have broken down and mixture is thickened and reduced, about 8 minutes. Let cool slightly.
3. Grate apple and squeeze out its juices. Transfer apple to large bowl. Add cooked berries, remaining uncooked berries, lemon zest, juice, sugar, tapioca, and salt; toss to combine. Transfer mixture to the dough-lined pie plate.
4. Roll out the other half of the pie dough to 1/8 inch thickness. Cut into 1/2 inch strips and make a lattice pattern. Make the lattice on a cutting board or cookie sheet. Once done, flip on top of the filled blueberry pie. Crimp the edges. If desired, brush pie dough with eggwash (egg and water) mixture.
5. Place pie in the oven and bake until juices bubble and crust is deep golden brown, 45-55 minutes. Transfer pie to wire rack; cool to room temperature, at least 4 hours. Cut into wedges and serve.